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Post by Spider on May 16, 2009 3:44:58 GMT -5
 Why Rednecks Can't Be Paramedics
A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them
grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing;
his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell
phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba's dead! What should Ah do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and
follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence... and then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now whut?"
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Post by bob on May 16, 2009 14:42:59 GMT -5
Then he walked a little further and came to a glen with a beautiful naked woman laying on a blanket. She gave him a wry smile and said, "I'm game."  |
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Post by Spider on May 16, 2009 19:01:03 GMT -5
Then he walked a little further and came to a glen with a beautiful naked woman laying on a blanket.
She gave him a wry smile and said, " I'm game." [/size] [/quote]  And he said: "So help me, I'll rape you!"She smiled again and said: "So rape me, I'll help you" ...  __
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Post by Spider on May 18, 2009 0:52:22 GMT -5
 A man in N.C. had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car
and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait.
A State Trooper studied the scene, as he drove by, and
was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The Trooper asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded,
"When ya break down they tell ya to put flares in the front
and flares in the back! I never did unnerstanit ether."
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Post by Spider on Jul 10, 2010 3:45:44 GMT -5
 Redneck Birth Control
A redneck took his daughter to the Gynocologist. They waited in the Doctor's office when finally the Doctor came in and asked the father: "Well, what are we here for today"? The father answered: "to git my daughter on birth control, Doc". "Well, is your daughter sexually active?", asked the Doctor. "No", answered the redneck, "she just lays thar like her mother". __ 'S'[/size][/b][/color] |
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And he said: "So help me, I'll rape you!"