'Email of the Day'

[Spider]

Do you ever get odd and/or entertaining Emails?

If so, post them here ...
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'S'
_____________________________

~ Believe It or Not ~

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman,
yet men spend all their life and time trying
to go back between the legs of a woman....
Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:
MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble,
it's a HIS terectomy .

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN ?

Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.
.. And/Or ...
Send this to all the men just to annoy them.
_____________________________________

[Spider]

OMG - OBAMA is the Anti-Christ !!!

I got this chain-email tonite and I don't believe a word of it
... and neither should you.

One needs to 'seperate the weed (not seed) from the chaffe'
... during this political season.
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'S'

---

Subject: Fw: The Book of Revelations!

Revelations!

The Book of Revelations!
This will make you re-think :
A Trivia question in Sunday School :
How long is the beast allowed to have authority in Revelations ?
Guess the Answer?
Revelations Chapter 13 tells us it is 42 months, and you know what that is.
Almost a four-year term to a Presidency.
All I can say is Lord Have Mercy on us.!!!!!!
According to The Book of Revelations the anti-Christ is and
have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....
the prophecy says that people will flock to him and
he will promise false hope and world peace,
and when he is in power, will destroy everything ..

Is it OBAMA??

I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to repost this as many times as you can!
Each opportunity that you have to send it to a friend or media outlet...do it!
I refuse to take a chance on this unknown candidate who came out of nowhere.

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[Spider]

Today I rec'd the below e-mail message from a republican friend in Louisiana.
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'S'

Subject: Politically incorrect but funny

Black - Hurricanes....

Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, Dem. of Houston ), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names.

She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal.

I am NOT making this up!
(my smilie)

She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report.

I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, thats too hard to understand

I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says...

Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket!
Bitch be a category fo' ! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib,
and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit!

[Spider]

Received the below e-mail today ...
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'S'

********

I have seen this before, but it is interesting that we are able to read this.

If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line.

Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it


FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

[Spider]

;D

I rec'd this one today from an old acquaintance in Louisiana.


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'S'

[Spider]

Got this in a chain email today.
I found this to be amazing and wanted to share it with y'all.
Just goes to show that some folks can befriend wild animals.
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'S'



More pics and article

The Crocodile Whisperer!

see videos of this at www.crocodileadventures.net/web_files/crocodile_tour.html
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PefKwpNynyc&feature=related

Rather than trying to tame wild stallions, fearless Costa Rican
fisherman Chito prefers a playful wrestle in the water with
his best pal Pocho - a deadly 17ft crocodile.

The 52-year-old daredevil draws gasps of amazement from
onlookers by wading chest-deep into the water, then whistling for his
980lb buddy - and giving him an affectionate hug.

Chito made friends with the croc after finding him with a gunshot
wound on the banks of the Central American state's Parismina river
20 years ago. He had been shot in the left eye by a cattle farmer
and was close to death. But Chito enlisted the help of several pals
to load the massive reptile into his boat.

He says: "When I found Pocho in the river he was dying,
so I brought him into my house.

"He was very skinny, weighing only around 150 lb.
I gave him chicken and fish and medicine for six months to
help him recover.

"I stayed by Pocho's side while he was ill, sleeping next to
him at night. I just wanted him to feel that somebody loved him,
that not all humans are bad.

"It meant a lot of sacrifice. I had to be there every day.
I love all animals - especially ones that have suffered."

It took years before Chito felt that Pocho had bonded with
him enough to get closer to the animal.

He says: "After a decade I started to work with him.
At first it was slow, slow. I played with him a bit, slowly doing more.

"Then I found out that when I called his name he would
come over to me."

At one point during his recovery, Chito left the croc
in a lake near his house.. But as he turned to walk away,
to his amazement Pocho got out of the water and began to
follow him home.

Chito recalls:
"That convinced me the crocodile could be tame."
But when he first fearlessly waded into the water with
the giant reptile his family was so horrified they couldn't bear to watch.

So instead, he took to splashing around with Pocho when they were
asleep..

Four years ago Chito showed some of his tricks to friends,
including getting the animal to close his eyes on command,
and they convinced him to go public with a show.

Now he swims and plays with Pocho as well as feeding him at the
lake near his home in the lowland tropical town of Sarapiqui.

The odd couple have now become a major tourist attraction,
with several tour operators, including Crocodile Adventures,
taking visitors on touring cruises to see the pair.

On the Crocodile Adventures website it describes the spectacle as:
"One of the most amazing things that no cruise ship passenger will
want to miss, the adventure show between the man and the crocodile."
[/b][/size][/color]

[Spider]

Nov 12, 2014
Begin forwarded message:

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist and humorist who once said:

"I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than most of us do.

Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

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